PORN!!!

Now that I have your attention. I hope this blog finds everyone happy and healthy. Not much is going on, as usual. I can't believe that the holidays are here. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Mine was wonderful. Got to spend time with the family and the best part was that I was off work that day. Yeah. But to be perfectly frank, I will be glad when the holidays are over. I don't know what it is but I'm just not in a festive mood this season. Yet, I am very excited to see everyone when we get together in January. Also, on a brighter note, I will be able to go camping this summer which I am soooo looking forward to. Hopefully, I will have lost enough weight to actually brave wearing a bathing suit, in front of people that is. So far, I've lost 4 dress sizes, so I'm down from a 22 to a 16 and hope to continue losing. I'm still in school. My class is almost over for the cluster and I will be so glad when it is over. I'm taking Organizational Theory and it blows. The course work is so vague. I only have 3 more classes until holiday break so I'm just counting down. My next cluster should be better. I'm taking Television Production. So if you see me walking around with a video camera starting in January, you'll know why. Other than that, not much else is going on. I better sign off. Have fun, stay safe, and hugs and kisses to everybody.

It's 10:30 at night...

I'm at work. And I am bored out of my fucking mind. This weekend I have the lovely duty of closing the office. So from 1830-0000, I have nothing to do. I just sit around and babysit. So I figured I would update the blog. I hope that everyone is doing well. Jen B, you're having a girl. I talked to Ordog, and he and Caryl are having a boy. So if the correlation is correct, you're having a girl. Ordog said that they are leaning toward Dexter for the first name. Not much else is going on. My creative writing class is done. Now I'm just waiting around to see what my grade will be. My next class starts Oct. 4., organizational theory. I looked at the description for the class, yeah, BORING. Basically its about why people get together and how they think. It was the only thing that was around in the area that had to deal with my major. Everything else that I need wasn't being offered. How in the hell can a university offer a major when they don't have ninety percent of the classes being offered for fall semester. I just don't get it. Don't get me started on the cost of books either. That is a freakin racket. But I digress. Well, I guess I better get back to work. Stay safe, have fun, and I will talk to ya'll soon.

For Your Consideration: Ah these poor Dwarf Bastards

Hello my lovelies,

I hope that everyone is well and safe. Works sucks the big one but school is great. I have, for your consideration, probably my finest work to date. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, drum roll please. "The Seven Dwarfs Happily Ever After?" It's not Masterpiece Theater, but hell, it works. Enjoy.

As the Dwarfs watched Snow White and her Prince ride off into the sunset, they thought that all would go back to normal. It didn't. When the Prince found out from Snow White that the Dwarfs had a diamond mine, he thought that it should be his. So through the process of eminent domain, the diamond mine became the property of the kingdom. The Dwarfs tried to appeal the case but to no avail. With the diamond mine gone, the Dwarfs had no means of income. So they decided to go out into the world, separately, to make their fortune.

Doc tried to go out into the workforce. But since he was of advanced age, no one would hire him. Feeling defeated, Doc entered into a nursing home to live out the remainder of his days.

Bashful was picked to be on the reality show "Who Wants to Date a Contortionist". He didn't win, but Bashful became the most popular contestant on the show. He now lives in California and is trying to find an agent and a publicist to help him break into show business.

Happy became a clown with Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus. But after being accused of child sexual abuse, in now in a psychological facility to determine competency to stand trial.

Sneezy moved to Arizona to help alleviate his allergies. He and his partner Kevin have opened a chain of bakeries called SneeKee's that is about to go public on the New York Stock Exchange.

Sleepy was diagnosed with sleep apnea. After losing some weight and using Breathe Right strips, he had the energy to try new activities. Sleepy met his girlfriend Lily at a ballroom dancing class. They now live together on a farm in Vermont where Sleepy makes handcrafted furniture.

Grumpy had a complete nervous breakdown after the Dwarfs disbanded. He was spiritually lost for a while and committed petty crimes. After being sentenced to psychological counseling and anger management courses, Grumpy found a new lease on life. He now lives in Tibet and is a Buddhist monk.

And Dopey? He has made a name for himself. He is now known as Dolph Reisenkopf, Germany's premier porn star. He opened his own production company called Fukundkommen Studios in Berlin.

For You.

Hi kids,

Just taking a quick sec to say hey. Hey. Work and school are keeping me busy but I thought you might like this. For you guys.

Players:A Tribute

The Soldier

The Iron Rose

The Fashionaire

The Florence Nightingale

The Boom-Boom Man

The Model

The Closet Anarchist

The Domestic Goddess

The Pixie Gypsy

The Director

The Airman

The Coupon Queen

The Artist

The Princess

The Big Mama

The Fifth Beatle

The Pervert

The Wallflower

The Lost Soul

and

Little B.

To You,

My Chosen Family

My Heart.

My Love

My Thanks.

I know, I know. I suck at blogging

Hello everyone,

I'm baaack. I hope that this blog finds everyone in good spirits. Where to begin, where to begin. First and foremost, it is sooooo good to have Sam home. The world is complete again. And to see Susan, Sam, Sean, and Sarge back together makes my heart soar. I hope that everyone had a good time at the party. Next year, Mom and Dad were talking it about having it be a little smaller. Just friends and neighbors. The fireworks were awesome Sam, Bryan, and Mike. I hope that everyone had a good 4th. We went to the casino and had a blast. I got stuck in St. Charles traffic which sucked but it was my own fault. I'm back in school. I'm taking a creative writing class. It's pretty intense. We have two workshops this semester and at the end of the semester we have to have 20-25 pages of new material. So far, I have written one story and about eight poems. This week I have to write a 400 word short story and an analytical piece. But my prof. is really cool. I had him before. He could teach a class about the nuances of paint drying and I would take the class. Other than that not much is going on. I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job. Sorry, venting a little. But hopefully, when I graduate I can get out of there. That's the goal anyway. I am also officially addicted to Facebook. Every night before I go to bed I'm on Facebook. Which I am going to go onto right now. I will try to be a better blogger in the future and maybe, if it's okay with you guys, get some feedback on stuff that I put up on the site for class. This is one I did and I hope that you enjoy it. Kisses.

When?

When will I see you again?

Why should I care

I don't even know your name

Yet I have seen you somewhere

My mind's eye perhaps

in the throws of a fantastic dream

EHarmony can kiss my ass!

Hello my lovelies in blogger land,

I hope that everything is going well. Well, it has bee an pretty nondescript week. I was off work today which was nice. But I have been working in payroll this week due to the fact that one of the ladies is on vacation. It hasn't been too bad however I did notice that I was falling back into my old habits the first hour I was back there. In other words, drinking soda, but just one a day. And I know its no excuse but.... So, I get an email from that speed dating company that I went through and, funny story, they are giving me a credit to go speed dating again since no one wanted to hook up. So now I have to decide whether to go again or just eat the $35 and be done with it. I have until November to decide. In the meantime, I decided to go on EHarmony and see if anything would happen there. After filling out the 3 million questions that they ask you and submitting your answers, I get a response that tells me that I am one of the 20% of people that they cannot match; in the whole United States. So as of right now, I think that I will give up my pursuit of a date and focus on going back to school. I have already call my advisor and I am planning to go this summer semester. My boss, Michelle, and I will be taking a science course. It's my last Gen-Ed course before I go in for the specialized courses. I'm trying to get something going. We'll just see what happens. Even though the job market sucks right now, I cannot work at that pit known as Verizon forever. Ok that's enough venting. I hope you have a great weekend and I will see you all soon. Kisses.

Speed Dating

Good evening kids,

Well, I did it. I went on that speed dating thing tonight and I must say that it was very interesting to say the least. The speed dating started at 8:30. I stopped by at Susan's and spent some time with her before I went out to Rookies. I was a little nervous but Susan helped me put it into perspective. Thanks, Susan. So I leave Susan's feeling pretty good until I get to the bar. I'm sitting in my car going, "What the hell, what the hell!!" But I get out of the car, go into the bar and proceed to chug 2 beers as fast as I can. I will say I was surprised to see so many people. So we go into this room and there are 13 girls and 11 guys. Apparently, two guys cancelled at the last minute. So the dates last about six minutes each and there is a fifteen minute break in between. I'm nervous as all get out but the beer starts kicking in. The first guy I talk to is a guy named Marcos. Very nice guy, speech pathologist. But as the night wears on I'm getting tired and I'm like I want to go home. I asked question like 'do you have any kids, where do you live, what do you do, what do you like to do for fun', but you ask that 11 times you get kind of bored. The interesting fact about all of these guys is that every single one of them have been out of a serious relationship for less than a year. One guy said that he got divorced in January. The range of careers for the guys goes from anesthesiologist to this poor guy who was 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, and likes WWE wrestling. I felt sorry for this poor kid. But the last guy you could tell was just looking for someone to have sex with. To be perfectly honest, I don't see myself doing this again. I felt like I couldn't be myself. It felt more like a job interview. But I gave it the old college try. Now I have to enter my "scorecard" and see if anything comes of it. I really can't remember a lot of the guys. Although there was this one guy there who looked like a dead ringer for Mark from "Rent". I told him this and he looked at me as if I had two heads growing out of my body. I'm glad it's done though. At times I felt like I was in that scene from the 40 year old virgin only it wasn't as funny. There was this one girl who was tanked. She was obnoxious but it was so loud in there from the other people talking that you only heard her every once in a while. Well, that's it for now. Girls I will see you this Friday night and will tell you more about it then. Kisses.

What am I getting myself into?

Hello everybody,

I hope that everyone is doing well. Not much is going on here. I hope that everyone is staying dry in this crazy freaked out spring weather. I have made a decision that might come as a shock to some people. But I, Jen, am going speed dating. I have signed up to do a speed dating thing at the end of this month. I was talking to Susan and Tracy over lunch and I had told them about maybe putting a personal ad on Craigslist. Well, Susan had mentioned speed dating and lo and behold I'm doing it. Plus have you read some of these personal ads on Craigslist. These guys are freaky. At least with speed dating I can see the guys face to face and judge for meyself. I have to do something. I have seen it on TV but this will be an experience. It's taking place in St. Charles and already I'm debating about what to wear. To be perfectly frank, I'm a little freaked out. I'm not the world's greatest conversationalist. I mean I can say some pretty outlandish shit. I think that if I can get through it without pissing somebody off I think I will be doing well. So I need some help. There is about 12-15 guys and supposedly the "dates" last for about 5-7 minutes. I can't ask every single guy what high school they went to. So far that is the only question I can think of. All the other questions I can think of either deal with religion, politics, or sex and if memory serves those are big no no's when first meeting someone. The only other question I can come up with is do they have a criminal record and I don't think that question would go over very well. Especially since this speed dating thing is geared toward, as the web sight quotes, "single professionals". All I can say is I hope this place where they are having it is serving liquor. So if you guys have questions that I can ask I would really appreciate it. Take care and I will see you all at Matt and Jen's.

I need juice.

Hello everyone in blogger land, I'm back. Well a lot has happened since last time I have been on here. I have become an aunt. Sean is an absolute gem. He is just the most precious little guy. I was very nervous at first about holding him but I think that I'm getting over that slowly. Shelby is a doll baby. Congrats Scotty and Tracy. And congrats to Heather and Jake on Noah. It was great to have Sam home. Just to see him hold Sean for the first time was one of the most precious memories that I will cherish forever. Sam and Susan are fantastic parents and people and Sean is very lucky to have them. But I have already promised Sean that I will teach him how to play poker. Now if I can just get over my cold I will be doing good. I have been battling this freaking head cold for about a week. Hence why I'm blogging at 2 in the am. I bought some Nyquil about three days ago but it quit working for me. I work in a freaking germatorium. The CDC would have a field day with where I work. I hope that everyone had a good and safe St. Patty's day. Katie, thank you for the ecard. I hope you guys had a good time at the parade. Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep. Everyone please be safe in this nasty, rainy weather and I will see ya'll soon at the next dinner party. XOXOXOXO

We....Were...

not victorious on friday for the trivia night. But I am still proud of the team and our score. Out of 100 questions we got 54 correct. The winning team got over 90 questions correct. And let me tell you something, some of these teams came in ready to crush the competition. Some of the tables had themes. One table had a pirate theme, so all of their members had on skull and crossbone shirts and eye patches. Another team had an Animal House theme and were wearing togas. It was interesting. But some of the questions were really hard. The catergories were famous women, catch all, cartoons, tv jobs, written word, alcohol, world leaders, sports, music, and movies. One of the questions in famous women was who was the first female African American elected to Congress? Another question in sports was who won the Australian Open eleven times? But a good time was had by all and it went for a good cause. Other than that not much else is going on. The weather is turning out to be very Sybilian for my tastes but it's Missouri what do ya expect. See ya on Saturday.

Baby, Baby, Baby

Hello one and all. I hope that everone is well. I hope that everyone had a good time at the shower. Mom and I appreciate everyone coming out and braving the cold. Before you know it little Peanut will be here. I can't believe it. And now BOB's shower is this weekend. Wow. Where does the time go? Before I forget, I would like to wish Ryan and Sophie Happy Birthdays. Not much is going on here. I'm trying an experiment. Susan showed me how to put pictures up on the blog so here goes nothing. Damn it. Oh well, I will try again another time. My computer is being uncooperative to say the very least. Other than freezing my tookis off the last couple of days, not much is going on here. Friday night I'm going to a trivia night for St Joes St. Charles. Alberici has a table and Mom and Dad invited Susan and I to go. VICTORY WILL BE OURS!! I have been trying to cram as much information in my head as I possibly can. Does anyone know of a good trivia site that I can use? Well, stay safe and I'll talk to ya'll soon. Love ya.

Whaddup

Hello. I trust that everyone is doing well. As usual, not much is going on here. Went and saw Wicked with Mom and her ladies from work. The show was really good. The only problem was that the show used so much fog that it was hurting my eyes. But it was interesting to see how they tied in all the aspects of the Wizard of Oz into it. Beforehand we went to Kitaro in OFallon. It is now my new favorite restuarant. The food was excellent and the chefs are pretty amazing in how they prepare the food. That's about it. Talk to ya later.